Bring In The Backups

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Scott Zolak Knows How To Party

Scott Zolak refused to do my show, but he demanded I have no guest. As he seems like a cool guy, I obliged. This ep is a solo joint. I start the show with some chit chat about mediation, as last week's episode with Brendan Sagalow motivated me to start doing it. I chat about weeping in hot yoga, my favorite Maryland Terp t-shirt, and how my recent doctors visits are making me feel like a fat RoboCop. I also yell at the audience to go to therapy, talk about poor people tearing their ACL's, and do a quick bit on Atlanta Falcons backup Turk Schonert.

Am I doing the episode summary right? I feel like previous ones I didn't write enough, now I'm writing too much. Whatever, this one will just be over-written, we'll see what happens on the next episode description. Moving on...I also talk about psychos watching me sleep, hugging Drew Bledsoe, Scott Zolak being a fun guy, Scott Zolak having terrible college numbers, Scott Zolak reminding me of Koy Detmer, and the Patriots-Jaguars 1998 playoff game.

I feel like I'm committed to this style for the rest of the way here, but in case it's annoying to you, don't worry, I think this is a one-off. You don't need to hear EVERYTHING I talked about. Anyway, then I talked about Giovanni Carmazzi being fearful, being an enabler, my recent appearance on The Schmidt Scharing Show, yelling at that Geico commerical, Jack Bauer cutting off a terrorist's nutsack, making Coldstone employees sing and pit bulls.

Still reading? I close the podcast by talking for too long about the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan, Woody Allen, having kids, and encouraging people to check out my merch, newsletter and Patreon waiting list. Also, follow my friend Rob Stern, he dropped in for a quick comedy bit. Alright, we made it. That sucked. I will never write a episode summary like this again, unless this gets a ton of listens, in which case it'll be like this forever.

Bubby Brister’s Name Is A Work Of Art (with Brendan Sagalow)

Brendan Sagalow hasn't the faintest who Bubby Brister is and he's not ashamed of it! Not only does this episode include a funny and interesting interview with Brendan, but two of my friends drop by in Liz Galalis (@Erickswife) on Insta/Twitter and Gary DeNoia (Gary's Insta). Also, I'm kidding, Liz is @LizGalalis, I'm just feeling frisky.

The podcast starts off with me talking about getting my Twitter account hacked. We're talking full on, sex pervert, gimps in my DM's hacked. But I got it back thanks to the millions (Rock pause) and millions of fans reporting the asshole to Twitter, so if you were one of those that helped me out, thx! I also get deep into talking to dogs like they're humans, men from the 1930's named "Babe", Bubby Brister telling Chuck Noll to eat shit, Terrell Davis coming after Bubby, and more.

Then I start chatting with Brendan and we get into meditation, snowboarding, the ecstasy in quitting versus the self-value of perseverance, not caring about sports, dating in a pandemic, and more. Follow Brendan on Insta/Twitter and listen to his comedy album Not Now More Than Ever FOR FREE on Spotify.

Support this show by visiting ErickHellwig.com and checking out the brand new merch store. The pullover hoodie is soft, thin and comfy. I swear it on my unborn children. Also, join my newsletter.

Jesse Palmer: The Bachelor Backup (with Liz Miele)

Liz MieleJesse Palmer. MY FATHER! The stars are out in this episode! Roll out the red carpet for a celebrity extravaganza the likes of which have never been seen! This podcast starts out with the usual with a breakdown of the execution of St. Valentine. Then I catch people up on my week, starting with my low grade Celiac Disease depression, some therapy talk, and my appearance on The Opening Kickoff Podcast. My father drops in for some pre-planned bit action, and then it's a deep dive on Jesse Palmer. The former Florida Gator has a not so memorable football career followed by a lengthy run as a multi-faceted TV host. I playfully mock him. Then my father appears in another pre-planned bit, and I chat about the stage antics of My Chemical Romance, my upcoming merch store, moving to Tarzana, Patrice O'Neal, and supporting Taylor Heinicke at all costs. I also complain about cancel culture, which believe it or not has never been done by a comedian.

The guest for this episode is Liz Miele. Liz and I bitch about how NYC is better then LA for about seventeen hours (I edited it down to 30 minutes). We also dabble in some east coast anger and comedy and do not mention football once. It's the off-season and I talked Jesse Palmer earlier on, get off my ass.

Liz currently has a comedy special titled "Self Help Me" you can see on YouTube right now. You can follow her on Instagram, Twitter, or visit her website. Her book Why Cats Are Assholes coming out 3/16, and she hosts the podcast "2 Non Doctors" on YouTube. 

As always, support this show by subscribing for free on your preferred podcast platform. If you're on Apple Podcasts, please rate five stars and write a review. Visit ErickHellwig.com to hop on my newsletter or follow my social media.

An Erik Kramer Episode Was A Really Bad Idea (with Sandy Danto)

Two things; Erik Kramer was a huge mistake for a comedy podcast and Detroit has Duce on their staff so get ready for a Super Bowl, Motown. On this packed episode of Bring In The Backups, I talk about my Celiac Disease (again), GameStop, LA opening restaurants, Erik Kramer opening up a can of whoop-ass on Dallas in the playoffs, my rage, Erik Kramer getting Me Too'd, Erik Kramer getting un-Me Too'd, Dan Campbell, and finally, the Duce is loose in Detroit.  I also awkwardly tip-toe around Erik Kramer's post NFL career, we get a comedy visit from Liz Galalis, and I interview comedian Sandy Danto (MADtv). 

Check out Sandy's album Daddy Boy recorded live from The San Francisco Punchline.

To support BITB, visit ErickHellwig.com and subscribe on your preferred podcast platform.

Shaun King Should Bang Brad Johnson’s Wife

Brad Johnson stole glory from Shaun King and I'm here to take it back. Straight from St. Petersburg, our hometown hero led the Tulane Green Wave to an undefeated season in 1998, and rolled that success into a brief, mostly uninspiring NFL career where he quarterbacked a team with a historically great defense. This podcast gets real. I'm talking upper endoscopy procedures, the capitol riots (barely), the Bucs creamsicle throwbacks (mostly), exciting playoff football, living in LA during COVID and more. I also blow the secret that I'm starting a merch store, comedian Liz Galalis (@lizgalalis) drops in on a pre-planned bit, and my sister (name-less to you people) expresses her concern for my mental health.

Get your ass to ErickHellwig.com for the newsletter, links to subscribe to the show, and more comedy content. Stay alive.

Steve Bono Was Better Than You Remember (with Lucas Hazlett)

Steve Bono. Lucas Hazlett. A podcast that is way too long but I just didn't want to edit, and it's funny so whatever. This marathon podcast starts with yours truly reviewing Steve Bono's career with the 49ers & Chiefs where he backed up Joe Montana and Steve Young. I also tackle current modern day hot topics including "port vs. starboard", is timeshare bad, and the lack of trigger warnings for the CBS 1991 TV movie The Rape of Dr. Willis. Then my friend Lucas Hazlett (2 Broke Girls, Life in Pieces, American Princess) joins the podcast and we cover too much ground. There's enough in here to upset everyone, so this podcast has a "don't listen if you're a pussy" rating. Steve Bono takes a back-seat, which as a backup, he's used to. If you listen till the end you get a cookie.

Enjoy the pod. The next one will be five minutes to balance it out.

Jimmy Clausen Was 37 In High School (with Madison Davis)

The Jimmy Clausen touchdown meter is running low, but just like Santa's sleigh, if we all just believe, he'll start crushing his current intramural league. Prepare for a Christmas journey to Notre Dame, Charlotte, Chicago, Baltimore, and wherever the else this dude has lived. I chat about country songs, the weird noises my stomach makes on the podcast, Lori Laughlin making friends, pickles and more. I also interview Madison Davis and she goes off on my looks and being a bad person.

As always, check out my website to support.

Happy Holidays. Don't kill your family.

Sexy Rexy Grossman Likes Going Deep

Sink into this Rex Grossman episode like you would a coma after eating a  Chicago deep dish pizza. I'm not talking "food coma". I'm talking you had a lifetime of poor choices and now you're in a coma following your heart attack. I want family members crying over you in a hospital bed while you listen to Sexy Rexy get his due. Merry Christmas! The REXTRAVAGANZA stays focused on #8 for the most part, but we also chat about Moises Alou's urine-soaked hands. Stay tuned as my wife makes a reasonable request to not be called a cunt, my dog Gordon mis-behaves, my father-in-law's girlfriend does dishes audibly in the background, and my friend Alex Gettlin drops in for some pre-planned bit action.

No guest this time around because I'm traveling the east coast and I should be enough for you people. If I can't carry a podcast focusing on this in-consistent Super Bowl piñata, I shouldn't be in the backup quarterback podcasting business to begin with.

Lastly, please support this show by visiting ErickHellwig.com to subscribe on your preferred platform, review the show on Apple Podcasts, and sign up for my newsletter. 

Glenn Foley Yells At Kids (with Gary DeNoia)

Admit it, the Glenn Foley pun is solid. The podcast is the audio equivalent of the Hindenburg, but the puns are getting pretty good. On this episode I talk Glenn Foley, Celiac disease, traveling, fighting with my wife, sleeping in windowless rooms and more. Then I interview comedian Gary Denoia about the Jets, NYC background noise, Little Big League, Rookie Of The Year, and how Erick sucks at remote podcasting.

Give me the hookup for this pod by rating and reviewing on Apple Podcasts, subscribing on your preferred podcast platform, and visiting ErickHellwig.com.

Kelly Holcomb Rocked Heinz Field Worse Than Bane

Cleveland Browns fans know pain. NFL journeyman Kelly Holcomb once tried to ease that pain with a playoff performance in the 2002 wildcard round against the Pittsburgh Steelers. He didn't complete the victory, but the dawg pound remembers the attempt. On this episode I rock it solo, NO GUEST, as I chat about our featured QB, traveling across country, calling my father "daddio", shitty sketch comedy and more. I also hint at the world ending because I recorded this six hours before we knew who was president, making the episode laughably dated almost immediately, but fuck it, I'm not re-recording.

To support this show, check out my website. Please keep up with rating/reviewing/subscribing to the show, and hop on my newsletter for the inside track on updates.

Sage Rosenfels Tried Comedy & It Didn’t Go Well (with Alex Gettlin)

Sage Rosenfels went 6-6 as a starter. His QB Rating was 81.2. He threw 30 touchdowns & 29 interceptions. When you look up average in the dictionary, you'll see the definition of average. But for a moment, imagine that definition personified as a lazy hack comic writing a joke one step above an internet meme about how when you look up "average" in the dictionary you'll see a photo of Sage Rosenfels. You get it. Jokes are hard to write.

On this pod I chat about getting screwed by theater kids this week, my dog, and I interview comedian Alex Gettlin (Let Me Be Clear, House Rules). We chat about our QB of choice, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, libertarianism, old dogs, cops doing yoga and read some Rosenfels roast jokes.

The best way to support BITB right now is to be a fan. Visit ErickHellwig.com for more info on the pod, Erick's comedy and more.

Cleo “Ace Ventura” Lemon Rescued The Dolphins (with Ray Easter)

When you google Cleo Lemon, all you get is a grainy photo of a homeless man master-bating at midfield in an empty high school football stadium in Jacksonville. No longer. In this episode I talk about Cleo's epic overtime win to save Miami from a win-less season, Canadian football, and how having a home makes you weak. I also interview Ray Easter (Laugh After Dark on Amazon Prime) who totally remembers Cleo Lemon and hates Redskins fans. I know we can't say "Redskins" anymore, but can we type it?

If you wanna see more of my comedy, please visit Erick Hellwig.com & join my newsletter. Hit me up on social media anytime on Facebook, Insta and Twitter. Subscribe to my YouTube for more comedy, including this podcast with bonus jokes. Lastly, if you haven't yet, hook up the pod with a 5 star rating and a written review on iTunes/Apple Podcasts!

A Charlie Batch Episode Was A Bad Idea (with Rob Stern)

Lions. Steelers. Charlie Batch. After 15 seasons on the bench, BITB gives Batch his due. I talk about Charlie's charitable work, how featuring him is a huge mistake, Eddie Money, selling time-share and more. I also interview Rob Stern (Not Safe w/ Nikki Glaser) and we roast Charlie.

If you're a fan, visit Erick Hellwig.com to join my newsletter and get updates on the pod, tour dates and more. Also follow me on Facebook, Insta and Twitter, and subscribe to my YouTube for more comedy. 

Koy Detmer’s Touchdown Celebration Was NSFW (with Liz Galalis)

Koy Detmer played in the NFL for 10 years. In the inaugural episode of the podcast, I talk about his neck beard, his sibling rivalry with Ty, his big games against the Pats in 99 and the Niners in 03, his NSFW touchdown celebration that made him a Philly legend, and more. I also talk about fights at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, cut-out fans at baseball games, if I could play football for my father, and I interview Liz Galalis (The Joel McHale Show, The Daily Show).

Liz is a writer, actor, and my wife (in that order). Erick Hellwig is a stand-up comedian from NYC living in Los Angeles. He hosts Bring In The Backups podcast and has appeared on AGT, Brain Games, Greatest Party Story Ever, numerous national tv commercials & more. Erick has written for Money From Strangers and co-created Death Lives. Since 2015 he's performed in dozens of festivals including Big Pine, Westside, North Carolina, Rubber City, Sno Jam, Harlem, Oak City, Burbank & Aloha Comedy. Erick hosts the weekly show Barely Making It LA in Hollywood and he's Death

To listen to the show, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe for free, rate, and review. To watch the show, subscribe on YouTube. Visit Erick Hellwig.com for all things BITB & Erick related. Lastly, follow this backup comedian on FB, Insta & Twitter. Thanks for supporting and see you in the next episode's show notes section.

Bring In The Backups Intro

Erick introduces his podcast. He briefly discusses checking in on former lovers, what to expect on the show and how to listen/support. Full episodes start in September 2020 so subscribe (for free) today. Erick Hellwig is a stand-up comedian, writer, actor and podcaster from NYC living in Los Angeles. He hosts Bring In The Backups podcast and has appeared on AGT, Brain Games, Greatest Party Story Ever, numerous national tv commercials & more. Erick has written for Money From Strangers and co-created Death Lives. Since 2015 he's performed in dozens of festivals including Big Pine, Westside, North Carolina, Rubber City, Sno Jam, Harlem, Oak City, BurbankAloha Comedy. Erick hosts the weekly show Barely Making It LA in Hollywood and he's dead. To listen to the show, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe for free, rate, and review. To watch the show, subscribe on YouTube. Visit Erick Hellwig.com for all things BITB related, plus Erick's road dates. Lastly, follow this backup comedian on FB, Insta & Twitter. Thanks for supporting and see you in the next episode's show notes section.

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